Divorce is right up there with loss of life and job loss as one of life's biggest stressors. The emotional toll can be staggering, and when you add in the headaches of legal responsibility, court time limits, and finances, it's clear most people get confused. This is exactly why you need a solid divorce lawyer, because it is not only helpful but absolutely necessary - they are your lifeboat during what can be the hardest time of your life.

Here's the thing about marriage in America: it is not just love and commitment. Legally speaking, marriage is a serious contract with legal and finance responsibilities. Once you want to terminate that contract and go your separate ways, you cannot just shake hands and be done. There are assets to divide, children to plan for, and bills to settle. If you try to do this without proper legal assistance, you may be fixing that mistake for the next 20 years.

What Your Divorce Lawyer Actually Does (Clue: It's Weigh More Than Paperwork)

Anyone who thinks divorce attorneys only push paperwork and cash checks has never been through a divorce. Every day these attorneys put on many other hats, and on some days they are part lawyer, part therapist, part financial advisor, and part chess player. Your attorney's main job is to build your winning strategy based on your unique situation.

Your attorney will learn everything they can about your situation – how long you've been married, what assets you have, whether you have children, and create a plan where you will have the best chance of getting what you want, which could be fighting for custody, protecting your business value, or getting enough spousal support to maintain your lifestyle.

In addition to being a qualified professional, and advocate, people do not often realize that their attorney also serves an important emotional role. Divorce tends to put everyone's ugly side on display, and communicating directly between ex-spouses can go very poorly, very quickly. No one wants personal conflict and animosity to drive misguided decision-making. So, the lawyer does the back-and-forth communication so everyone can focus on finding solutions rather than settling old scores.

Then we get to the paperwork – tons and tons of paperwork. Each state has their own rules, timelines, and forms, and if you make a mistake in filing or miss a filing deadline, there's likelihood of having your case thrown out, or delayed for months. Your attorney will make sure every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed to ensure all things keep rolling along without a hitch in your case.

Perhaps, most importantly, your attorney will protect one from spontaneous wrongful decisions you would later regret. In emotional and exhausting situations, that settlement offer might appear to be reasonable, when in fact it is a terrible threat to your long-term financial stability. Your attorney brings the needed clear-headed analysis you will need when your judgement may be impaired by stress and heartache.

Different Types of Divorces Need Different Types of Lawyers

Not all divorces are equal and the same is true about divorce lawyers. Knowing the differences will help you hopefully find the right fit for your particular dumpster fire - ahem, I mean "situation."

The Friendly Divorce (yes, they exist)

Uncontested divorce happens when the parties agree on most of the big stuff: who gets what, where the kids will live, how much support one party will pay to the other. Generally, uncontested cases can be done in a shorter time frame and at a lower cost (for future reference, 'uncontested' does not mean 'simple').

Even in the instances where everybody is getting along, the legal ins and outs can matter immensely. Certain law firms specialize in these less combative divorces - and offer a streamlined service that won't break the bank. Just make sure they are thorough - as an agreement may seem fair today, but can cause enormous complications down the road if it is not carefully structured.

The Divorce War

Contested divorces are the ones you read about in the news or watch in movies - fights over every asset, custody battles over child support where the parties have made no compromises for months, and the ever-increasing legal bill is enough to make your eyes bleed.

For contested divorces you need lawyers willing to fight and win in court. If you are in a situation where you are headed for a contested divorce, then your attorney must be comfortable in front of judges and capable of cross-examining witnesses. Your attorney must be part detective (gathering evidence), part negotiator (in hopes of settling), and part performer (in a courtroom to persuade and tell your story).

The High-Stakes Divorce

If you have serious money at stake - we are talking millions of dollars in assets, maybe a family business, complicated investment portfolios - you will need very specific expertise. High-stakes divorces generally involve teams of professionals - forensic accountants investigating hidden assets, family business valuation experts, and tax specialists figuring out the tax implications of different settlement options.

As is often the case, high-asset divorce attorneys tend to charge higher fees, but if the stakes are that high, you want to involve people with the right expertise. High asset divorce attorneys fully understand the more complex financial instruments and tax implications that can affect a potential settlement worth millions of dollars.

When Borders Become Complicated

International divorces can add complexities that most attorneys may not have the background to take on. Different countries have different laws governing property division, child custody, and even whether a foreign jurisdiction will recognize a U.S. divorce decree.

If your situation has its own international aspect - either you or your spouse has foreign citizenship, you have property overseas, or you have a concern about a spouse taking children out of the country - you will want an attorney who has actual experience with international law and divorce.

Military divorces: a whole other animal

Military divorces come with their own unique rules and complications. Military pensions have their own procedures required to properly divide. Deployment can complicate custody arrangements. The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act provides certain protections that can affect timing and procedures. Most civilian attorneys know little about military divorce requirements. If you or your spouse serves in the military, find someone who understands both family law and military regulations.

How to Spot a Great Divorce Attorney (And Avoid the Duds)

Choosing your divorce lawyer might be the single most important decision you make during your divorce. Get it wrong, and you'll pay the price financially and emotionally. Get it right, and you'll have a skilled advocate who can navigate you through this mess and help you come out the other side in good shape.

Experience That Actually Matters

You want someone who's been in the trenches with cases like yours. If your divorce involves a family business, don't hire the lawyer who mostly handles simple uncontested cases. If you want to make custody the primary issue, you need someone that has spent a significant amount of time in family court working to promote parents' rights.

Local experience also matters. Each judge operates differently, has different preferences, and has established procedures. When lawyers appear regularly before your local courts they not only know the judges preferences and their style, but have most likely formed bonds and relationships with the judges and other lawyers. That out-of-state hotshot, or big system top 500 lawyer may have a great resume, but you have to ask if they know that Judge Smith hates long opening statements; and just about the same amount of time as Judge Jones, is extra sensitive to parental alienation claims and how they look at those claims when raised in the court.

Communication That Doesn't Drive You Crazy

Your lawyer should be able to explain legal concepts without making you feel like you need a law degree to understand your own case. During your initial consultation, pay close attention to how they communicate. Do they really listen to your concerns, or are they just waiting for their turn to talk?

Some attorneys are phone people, others prefer email, and some communicate mainly through formal letters. Make sure their style works for you – if you need regular updates and your lawyer disappears for weeks at a time, you're going to be miserable.

Honest About Costs (No Nasty Surprises)

Divorce is expensive enough without getting blindsided by unexpected legal bills. A good attorney will be upfront about their fees and provide realistic estimates based on your case's complexity. Run from any lawyer who promises your divorce will only cost X amount or who seems evasive when you ask about fees.

Although it is impossible to know exact costs (as divorce cases can take many unexpected turns), experienced lawyers tend to be able to give you good ranges.

The right team behind them

Complex cases may require more than just your lawyer. They may need a paralegal to prepare documents, an investigator to gather evidence, or a referral to a financial expert. Your lawyer should have the world of resources available to them and know when to use them.

Also, I recommend asking your lawyer how much of your case they will personally do versus their support staff. I do not have a problem with competent paralegals doing routine work and it may save you money; I just want you to know what you are paying for.

A Reputation That Precedes Them

You should check with your state's bar association for any disciplinary actions against your potential lawyers. You should check for online reviews, but keep them in perspective as divorce clients tend to be emotional and good lawyers get a lot of negative reviews that sometimes are not valid.

Professional accolades and reviews by peers also can tell you something about the lawyer as a member of the legal community. Awards and certifications are not everything, but they often indicate that a lawyer takes their profession seriously.

The Divorce Process: Your Road Map Through the Maze

Knowing what is coming can help you mentally and practically prepare for the journey ahead. Although every state has its own procedures, most divorces follow a fairly predictable course.

Getting Started: Filing the Papers

Someone has to pull the trigger and file for divorce first. The person filing (called the petitioner) submits a formal petition that outlines basic information about the marriage and requests specific relief – custody arrangements, property division, support payments. The other spouse (the respondent) then gets served with papers and has a limited time to respond.

Even if you're planning an amicable divorce, these initial documents matter. Mistakes here can cause problems down the road.

Temporary Relief: Keeping Things Stable

Divorces take time – sometimes many months or even years. During this period, families need temporary arrangements for everything from child custody to bill paying. Temporary orders establish these interim arrangements.

Don't underestimate how important these temporary orders can be. In custody matters particularly, courts are often unwilling to alter arrangements that appear to benefit the child. What begins as "temporary" becomes permanent.

Discovery: Finding the Money

This is where costs can escalate, and the fighting often ramps up. Discovery is a formal method of collecting information and potential evidence. Either side may request documents, ask to answer written questions, and conduct depositions (sworn testimony outside of court).

In simple matters, discovery may involve only sharing basic financial documents. In complicated matters, the discovery may involve hiring forensic accountants to trace assets, business appraisers to ascertain the value of companies, and additional experts in evaluating matters related to your financial situation.

Settlement Talks: The Deal

The vast majority of divorce cases settle; most often, that is the best choice. Trials are often costly, time-consuming and uncertain. You do not know what a judge will do, and once a judge acts, you can only accept the ruling.

Good lawyers know how to negotiate well, when to hold the line, when to settle, and how to create deals that work for everyone. The goal is to find solutions that satisfy both parties' core concerns without the expense and unpredictability of going to trial.

Trial: The Showdown

If negotiations do not reach a settlement, you are now going to court. Family court trials are bench trials which means a judge, rather than the jury, will be deciding your case. The judge will weigh the evidence presented by both sides, testimony, and evidence before rendering final decisions concerning all contested issues.

Preparing for trial is time-consuming and costly. Your attorney will be expected to organize evidence, prepare witness materials, and develop arguments about each contested issue faced by your case. Although trials resolve cases once and for all, trials require the parties involved to surrender the control of their outcome to a judge who may have differing opinions about their factual or legal weight.

After the Dust Settles

Your relationship with your attorney likely will not end once the judge has signed a final decree. Post-divorce issues arise regularly in divorce cases – enforcement issues when someone violates one or more of the judge's orders, modifications when people's lives change some of the facts that determined the property distribution, and contested disputes over the meaning of various provisions.

Some attorneys provide future services to their former clients at reduced rates, while others prefer the simplicity of new "shopping" cases. Be sure to clarify your lawyer's policy regarding future services post-divorce.

State Laws: Why Your Geographic Location Matters More Than you Think

One of the more frustrating aspects of divorce law is that it is not uniform. Each state has its divorce law which is sometimes even different than how each judge and their mediator proceed to determine outcomes. What is true in California may be completely opposite in Texas. Also, these different laws can determine the ultimate outcome of your case.

Community Property vs. Equitable Distribution: You and Your Case Will Be Effectively Treated Differently in Different States

Nine states (all in the West) have community property rules. In these states, the law determines that nearly all of the property accrued by the spouses during their marriage is equally owned by both spouses as one's community property. Courts in those states will then divide all the marital property with both spouses receiving an equal divided share, or 50-50, as provided in current law.

The other 41 states, including Texas, use equitable distribution rules; however in property disputes the law determines that almost everything must be divided fairly, not necessarily equally. Courts will consider how long you have been married, how the spouses economically contributed to the marriage, and the future earning potential of both spouses, then determine whether or not splitting the or the assets and debts fairly, or possibly in the same ratio, or requiring one spouse to receive less of one property than one spouse to receive in another property, to balance the notion of fair over equal. "Fair" doesn't always equal "equal."

Residency Rules: You Can't File Wherever You Feel Like It

The first requirement in any state is you must be a resident there for a certain amount of time before filing for a divorce. Residency time requirements vary by state, from six (6) weeks (Nevada) to one (1) year (New York). Some states have residency requirements at the county level as well.

If you have recently moved, you may need to wait before filing for divorce, or you may have the option of filing in your former state. If you are in the military as part of a military family, they usually have options on where they file, typically they could use either their 'home state' or their current military base.

Fault vs. No-Fault: Does Bad Behavior Matter?

All states have now enacted a form of no-fault divorce, where you do not need to prove that anyone did anything wrong. Many states utilized fault-based reasons for divorces, still some states offer these fault-based grounds for divorce, i.e. adultery or abuse, and thus, fault may affect a property division and/or spousal support order.

No-fault divorces will usually go faster and be much less 'contentious' because it is more difficult for either party to air their dirty laundry in court; no-fault means there won't be improper behavior to discuss. In a state that gives consequence to faults in a divorce for financial purposes, it may be worth pursuing if you could find strong evidence of discharge.

Custody Laws: Different States, Different Values

Custody laws differ from state to state in significant ways. Some states have a strong presumption of joint custody, and others have no presumptions when it comes to custody or what is in the best interest of the children.

Not only do states have differing custody laws, states also deal with parental relocation cases in different ways. Some make it relatively easy for custodial parents to relocate, while others require either custody modification hearings or consent from the other parent to relocate with minor children.

Spousal Support: The Wild West of Family Law

Alimony laws are scattered like tumbleweeds in a desert windstorm. Some states have incredibly complex and detailed equations or formulas for determining the amount of support and how long it can last. Other states leave it up to individual judges with little to base their support decisions on.

Several trends favoring stability in the amount of spousal support awarded, a cap on how long it will last, or more certainty in how it will be calculated, remain. Knowing how your state currently regards and values alimony is very important to knowing what expectations anyhow.

The Money Talk: What It Costs to Get Divorced

Let's not kid anyone: divorce is expensive. The financial cost can be staggering beyond an emotional toll we all acknowledge.

The Expense of Your Attorney's Fees

Divorce attorneys will usually charge between $150 to $1,000 per hour depending on the level of experience, where they practice, and the complexity of your case. Most attorneys require a retainer up front, which is, in essence, a down payment against their hourly fees.

Some attorneys offer flat fees for uncontested divorces that is particularly simple, and it remains consistent from beginning to end, which stabilizes your cost a little. Flat fees only stabilize the cost of an uncontested divorce only where the divorce maintains simplicity in filing a decree of divorce.

What can make a divorce uncontested and change the course of the divorce's complexity? If I have to answer the question, I've seen something as simple as my client's attorney inadvertently cancel their mediation appointment and issue the client a notice of special appearance, the attorney's incompetence led to the case requiring trial.

Your Legal Fees Are Only the Tip of the Expense Iceberg

The attorney's fees are only part of all these expenses. You might need to pay:

• Court filing fee (which is usually only a few hundred dollars)
• Service of process fees
• Formal appraisals of your home or rental property, or business valuation
• Custody evaluators and child psychologists
• Expert witnesses regarding financial or custodial matters
• Mediation or arbitration fees
• Tax returns or financial planning processes

These can easily add a few thousand more to your overall legal fees, especially if your divorce was complicated.

Divorce Changes Your Financial Life

Divorce shifts your financial narrative. Your attorney should use financial professionals to help you to comprehend the long-term impact of your settlement options. Consider how property division will impact your taxes, whether you will have sufficient, any, or more than sufficient retirement for your chosen life, how often you will owe your support obligation monthly, etc. These can all shift your negotiation strategy, and help you to decide, which options are agreeable or not.

Valuing Your Assets: Not Always as Simple as It Seems

Bank accounts and standard investment accounts are easy to value, but businesses, professional practices, stock options, and unique properties require expert appraisal. The valuation process can become a major battleground in high-asset cases.

Your attorney needs to know when to bring in valuation experts and how to challenge questionable appraisals from the other side. In some cases involving large amounts of money or value, arguing over how to value the property can make millions in difference in the amount of the final settlement.

Protecting Your Credit While in the Storm

Divorce can be hazardous to your credit rating if you do not handle it properly. Joint debts remain the responsibility of both spouses until they are completely satisfied or re-financed for the joint debtor. This is true even if your divorce agreement requires one spouse to pay for the debt, as creditors want their money.

Deal with your credit problems as part of the settlement process. This may involve considering dealing with refinancing of the joint debt, closing joint accounts or expecting specific actions with respect to how each party deals with items that could impact both parties' credit ratings.

When Kids are Involved: The Stakes Go Up

Children can complicate a divorce faster than this breath could be drawn. When children are involved, the nature of the decision-making changes as the legal inquest will place the needs of children in the higher position of interest, but being able to articulate what that means in practice, can often be an involved advocacy and strategic process.

Understanding the Different Types of Custody

Legal custody represents decision making authority on global issues affecting children like education, health care, and religious upbringing. Physical custody represents the place where children will live and time will be spent.

Joint custody agreements are becoming more prevalent because research indicates that children frequently establish better relationships with both parents. Joint custody can only be a solution if the parties can communicate reasonably well and cooperate on child-rearing decisions.

What Judges Actually Look At in Custody Cases

When they make a custody decision, judges look at a lot of factors:

• Whether there is an existing relationship between each parent and child
• The potential stability of the living arrangements
• The physical and mental health of each parent
• The children's preferences, depending on their age
• Any history of domestic violence, including substance abuse
• The willingness of each parent to support their child having a relationship with the other parent
• Childcare arrangements, such as work schedules

Your attorney should guide you through understanding how all the factors apply to your particular case and how to produce evidence to support your custody goals.

Child Support: More Complicated than You Think

Every state has a set of child support guidelines to calculate child support based on the income of both parents and their parenting time. The guidelines are intended to help children maintain their standard of living, even with their parents' divorce.

While the guidelines may seem straightforward, calculations can get complicated when parents have irregular incomes, own a business, or have children from previous relationships. It is very important that your attorney is careful about calculating the income correctly and applying the guidelines correctly.

When Life Changes

Child custody orders and child support orders are not always set in stone either. You can seek to change custody or child support orders when the circumstances change substantially - like you lose a job, you move away, your children needs change, and when there is a change in custody schedule.

Your attorney should explain to you the standards for changing orders in your state and when it may be appropriate to seek changes.

Commercial alternatives to courtroom war

Not every divorce needs to devolve into a legal war. Processes for alternative dispute resolution can give you more control over the outcome and save you time, money, and emotional energy.

Mediation: Working It Out Together

Mediation is a process that includes a neutral third party that helps you and your spouse negotiate your own agreements. The mediator does not make decisions but facilitates communication and the identification of potential solutions.

Mediation is the most helpful when both parties are willing to compromise and can communicate without losing their minds. Mediation is especially helpful when you agree on the big picture but need help working out the details.

Collaborative Divorce: A Team Process

Collaborative divorce is where each spouse retains specially trained attorneys who agree in writing to work toward settlement without proceeding to contested litigation. Then, if discussions break down and you end up litigating the issues in a contested divorce, you have to find another attorney to represent you because both attorneys have to withdraw.

The collaborative team often includes additional professionals such as financial advisors, child specialists, and coaches to help with communication. While collaboration addresses both the legal and emotional process of divorce, it does expect that both parties are willing to act in good faith and be transparent about their financial status.

Arbitration: Private Judging

Arbitration is a form of private judging or an alternative to court trials. You and your spouse choose a neutral arbitrator (typically a retired judge or attorney with the necessary experience) who hears the evidence and then decides that the decisions are binding on the disputed issue or issues.

Arbitration generally moves much quicker than court proceedings and is often more flexible as well. Once you submit the evidence to the arbitrator for his/her decision, you give up the right to appeal their decisions; you and your spouse are stuck with the decision. Arbitration tends to be useful for couples that want to reach a final and definitive resolution but prefer the privacy and control of this process.

When Alternative Processes Work (And When They Do Not)

These processes are certainly beneficial in some aspects:

• You have enhanced control over the final outcome
• Process has likely been less expensive than litigation
• Resolution is likely to take place sooner
• Everything is private and confidential
• The entire process is generally less adversarial

But, ultimately, these alternative processes are not suitable for everyone or every case. Cases involving domestic violence, significant power imbalances and cases where one party will not commit and treat the other party with candour and fairness are better served in the traditional court system.

Technology's Role in Today's Divorce Process

Technology has affected advanced legal practice much more than anything else in the 120-plus years of my practice and this includes divorce law, as well. Knowing how technology can be in the hands of lawyers in divorce law may make you a better client consumer of representation.

Digital Case Management

Law firms as of now are increasingly relying on case management systems that will permit monitoring costs, due dates, deployment of court documents, filing, and management of evidence. You should expect to be provided access to your online case management account or web application and electronic updates.

Electronic filing with the court has also transformed processes to be more user-friendly with most courts in most jurisdictions. You should expect that the lawyer you hire will be working with those systems in which the flow process will allow them to effectively initiate, manage, and move your case ahead.

Virtual Meetings and Consultations

Although virtual meetings were first entering the industry during the pandemic, and are now regularly used for "routine" consultations and general updates, as a platform, zoom, is also a great means for you to save time and travel, while also providing a more personal connection to your lawyer.

However, in matters of more complex negotiations and more emotionally driven content, perhaps an in person meeting would be more appropriate.

Online Divorce Services - Beware

There are many companies now offering online divorce services that far too often render their services mostly, if not exclusively, to relatively simple and uncontested cases. Engaging in this process can be beneficial in a straightforward case, although consider that the online service is not going to be providing the same level of personalized advice, advocacy and service that a traditional lawyer does.

I am more cautious about and mindful of adopting the online process in cases involving children and/or measurable significant assets. The savings you might have with your legal fees can easily be lost because of poor agreements or missed issues.

Security and Privacy Risks

Divorce often involves delicate and exposed personal and financial information. Your attorney should use secure communication and have robust policies that protect the confidential nature of your information.

Do not share details of your case through unsecured communication, and be sure to follow your attorneys advice for protecting sensitive information.

Mistakes that Could Haunt You Forever

Divorce can be complicated, and mistakes can lead to consequences that last a lifetime. Knowing about some of the common pitfalls can help you avoid risks that could affect the outcome of your case and/or your happiness in the future.

Choosing Based on Price Alone

The biggest mistake people make is hiring an attorney solely based on price. It is certainly the case that legal fees Matter, but the wrong attorney can cost you much more in terrible outcomes than you will save in legal fees.

Take the time to properly vet potential attorneys. Interview several candidates and choose an attorney with relevant experience and one whom you believe will communicate with you in a way that suits your style.

Letting Emotions Dictate Decisions

Divorce is filled with emotions that can lead to terrible decisions. Using children as pawns, hiding assets or making unreasonable demands may feel right in the moment, but it usually turns out badly in a much worse way.

Always listen to your attorney's advice on when to compromise and when to be steadfast in your demands. Do your best to think about the long term instead of a momentary emotional satisfaction.

Financial Blind Spots

Many people will not fully understand their own finances before agreeing to a set of terms in a settlement. Make sure you have all of the information regarding all of your assets, debts and income sources. Keep in mind the tax ramifications or long-term costs associated with different deals. That very attractive settlement may be much more costly when you consider the tax ramifications.

Communication Problems

Your attorney needs to have all information throughout the case, and it must be accurate. Trying to hide embarrassing information or only partially disclosing specific parts of your financial situation may ultimately hurt your case when this information is discovered later.

Secondly, if you fail to fully communicate your priorities, and your objectives become murky, your attorney may devise a strategy that does not reflect your interests.

Disobeying Court Orders

When a court issues orders in your case, you are obliged to comply with them regardless of whether you like them or not. If you disobey a court order, you may be found to be in contempt of the court, you may receive a financial penalty, and you could damage your credibility, if only temporarily.

If the court orders seem unreasonable or impossible to carry out then turn to your lawyer and ask about the procedure for modifying the orders.

Building a Case: Evidence and documentation

The best cases are built on evidence and documentation. It is one thing to create a legal argument to support your position; it is altogether another question if your attorney cannot provide evidence to support that position.

Financial Documents: The Key

Financial documents are the key to the case. Collect full and complete document covering several years:

• Tax returns and all back up documentation
• Bank and investment account statements
• Credit card statements and loan documents
• Business financial reports and tax returns
• Property documents and mortgage information
• Insurance policies and retirement account statements

Keep everything organized. Create individual files for each type of document, make photocopies for your lawyer, and keep originals filed in a safe place.

Child Oriented Documentation

In a contested custody situation, it is important to document your active involvement in your children's daily lives as much as you are able to. This can include:

• Activities and events at their school
• Routine medical and healthcare appointments and related activity
• Transportation and attendance at extracurricular activities/sports
• Communication with teachers and other caregivers
• Activities performed together on a daily and ongoing basis

Pictures, video, and other visual documentation can be a persuasive representation of how you have participated in the children's daily lives. Maintain a journal or even a calendar to document not only major events but also the small interactions and the time spent together, preferably in writing form from your perspective.

Communication Records

Text messages, emails, photos, and social media can all be an important record of the series of events, behavior pattern(s), financial problems, parenting problems, etc. It is also worth noting the caution needed about your communications during remediation of the divorce.

The presumption is that anything you write electronically could appear in the court process: Be honest about what you write, but do your best to maintain a respectful and professional style, even when you find yourself feeling upset and frustrated.

Expert Witnesses

For unexpected incidents, more complicated scenarios may require expert witnesses to explain complex or technical issues, or offer a professional opinion. Some examples of expert witnesses include:

• Business valuation expert for business valuations
• Real estate expert to assess for unique properties
• Forensic accountants for financial investigations
• Child custody evaluator, mHB or MCAS Therapists
• Vocational experts to assess child income potential with good employment

Your attorney should help you recognize when the time exists to utilize expert witnesses, but you must resist and select suitable and qualified professionals, who have experienced the court process so as not to be embarrassed in the Club by the other professionals.

Life After Divorce: Preparing for Your New Beginning

Although divorce is an end, it represents a continuing beginning. Planning for your post-divorce future is important in making sure the evidence in your case is appropriate to your needs in your future objectives and happiness after the divorce.

Rebuilding Financial Self-Sufficiency

Many individuals have to rebuild their financial self-sufficiency after divorce, especially if they were not the primary earners during the marriage. Rebuilding may involve reskilling, training for a new career, or starting a business.

Understand how various settlement options will impact your longer-term financial security by meeting with financial planners. Make sure you factor in retirement planning, insurance needs, and estate planning in connection with your divorce negotiations.

Building Cooperative Parenting Relations

When you have children, you will be dealing with your ex-spouse for many years after divorce. It's beneficial for everyone involved to set the stage for constructive co-parenting relations during divorce proceedings.

Make the parenting plans detailed and practical so that you will have some assurance of knowing what areas will cause conflict. A parenting plan should include how to communicate, how to make decisions, and how to resolve a dispute.

Housing Decisions That Matter

Divorce usually requires all parties to make new housing decisions. The family home may need to be sold, new housing may need to be found, and current housing may need to be altered to accommodate the children.

Acknowledging the essentials of housing - such as the quality of schools, travel distance, and proximity to children's activities - can help you make informed decisions that have implications for custody arrangements and one's overall quality of life.

Updating Important Documents

In light of your divorce, you probably have a number of legal documents that also need updating. Specifically:

• Wills and estate planning documents
• Beneficiaries of insurance policies
• Designation of retirement accounts
• Powers of attorney
• Emergency notifications
• Children's medical records and school records

Your lawyer should have a checklist for you.

Rebuilding Social and Professional Networks

Divorce affected social relationships too, especially where couples generated business, and/or had joint friends. Be prepared for social changes, focus on what good friends (and family) you want to keep, and then create new friends and networks.

Building new social and professional networks takes time and energy, but it is part of creating your post-divorce life.

Move on with confidence

Ending a marriage is never easy, but with a capable lawyer and smart planning, you can get through the divorce process and be ready for the next chapter in your life. The success of your divorce depends on understanding what to expect and making informed decisions at each step in the journey.

Divorce is a significant transitional period in life, not the end of the road. If you have the right lawyer in your corner, you have someone at your side that can protect your interests, achieve a reasonable outcome, and help you build a pathway to future happiness. Solid legal representation at this important time will pay big dividends down the road.

Take the time to find the right attorney for your situation, be as open and honest as possible during the process, and build your focus on the long-term goals of your life, not the short-term emotion of the situation. The road ahead won't always be easy, but if you engage the right people, and prepare and plan for your transition, you will get through your divorce and be able to move on with your life.

Your divorce lawyer is not only a lawyer; they are your advocate, your strategist, and your guide for one of life's most important journeys. Take your time to determine the right professional for you, stay involved with your case, and believe the process will result in a fresh start.